What is neurodevelopment?
As a baby grows into a child, the body grows in size. At the same time the brain matures in different areas, called developmental domains: language, social communication, cognition (thinking) and physical skills. Within each domain are milestones that a child should reach by a certain age.
Brain development starts in the mother's womb and continues as the child learns head control, sitting, standing, running, speaking, understanding, reading, writing, maths and decision making. This whole process is called neurodevelopment.
The brain grows fastest in the first 1000 days of life. Delays are best picked up before 2 years, so they can be corrected before the child turns 5.
Milestones at 6 months
- Social and emotional: knows familiar people, likes to look at themselves in a mirror
- Language: takes turns making sounds with you, babbles
- Cognitive: puts things in the mouth, reaches to grab a toy
- Physical: rolls from tummy to back, pushes up with straight arms on the tummy, leans on hands when sitting
How to help
Smile when your baby smiles and copy their sounds. "Read" together every day by looking at colourful pictures and naming things. Place toys just out of reach to encourage rolling. Sing, play music, and comfort your baby by talking softly, holding and rocking. Screen time is not recommended under 2 years.
Milestones at 1 year
- Social and emotional: plays games with you, like peek-a-boo
- Language: waves bye-bye, calls a parent "mama" or "dada", understands "no"
- Cognitive: puts things in a container, looks for things they saw you hide
- Physical: pulls up to stand, walks holding furniture, picks things up between thumb and finger
How to help
Baby proof your home and give safe places to explore. Say "no" firmly and teach wanted behaviors. Point at and name interesting things like buses and animals. Offer foods with different tastes and textures.
Milestones at 3 years
- Social and emotional: calms down after you leave, for example at nursery drop off, joins other children to play
- Language: says their first name, talks in 3 word sentences, can be understood by others
- Cognitive: avoids touching hot objects like a stove
- Physical: strings large beads together
How to help
Play outdoor games together. Give an activity box with paper, crayons and colouring books. Encourage play with other children. Read together and teach simple rhymes. Talk about feelings and give your child words to describe them.
Milestones at 5 years
- Social and emotional: follows rules and takes turns in games
- Language: answers simple questions about a story, keeps a conversation going
- Cognitive: counts to 10, uses words about time like "yesterday" and "tomorrow"
- Physical: dresses and undresses, draws a triangle
How to help
Let your child "read" by telling the story from pictures. Teach rules in games. Let them do things on their own, even if not perfectly. Eat meals together. Keep screen time to no more than 1 hour a day.
When to worry about a delay
If your child has not reached a milestone, you can wait 1 to 2 months. If there is still no progress, consult a pediatric neurologist and developmental disorders specialist for an assessment, so that a diagnosis can be made and treatment started early.
Conditions grouped as neurodevelopmental disorders include autism spectrum disorder, ADHD, specific learning disability, intellectual disability, cerebral palsy and global developmental delay. Your pediatrician can often spot concerns during routine vaccination visits and refer you early.
Losing a skill your child already had, at any age, needs a prompt medical check.
Parenting in modern times
As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Our grandparents knew that raising a child is a team effort. In today's cities, with many nuclear families, this is harder to practise. Life looks easy, but it is often not simple.
A child's first teacher is the family. Connections with grandparents and other elders deeply shape a child's attitudes, behavior, values and character. Children are silent observers and active imitators. They copy how we eat, talk and handle emotions.
The idea of "halo parenting" is valuable here: trusted grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings and caregivers give a child several secure attachments besides the parents. This eases the stress on parents and gives children role models to look up to, especially in the pre-teen years when they start to push back against parental advice.
Pay attention, and listen
- Make eye contact when you talk to your child. When they talk, let them finish before you respond.
- Tantrums, meltdowns, hugs, shyness and mischief are all chances to hear what your child feels but cannot say.
- Be available mentally, emotionally and physically, so your child knows they can come to you any time.
- Sing, read bedtime stories, play simple games and celebrate festivals with family.
- Keep conversations natural. Open ended questions and back and forth talk help build language and understanding.
- Speak to children with respect, so they learn to speak respectfully. Children soak up everything, the good and the bad.
Look after yourselves too
The quality of parenting often reflects the relationship between parents. Friendship in marriage and a habit of self improvement make families stronger. Stress is everywhere today, at work, school and home, and chronic stress wears us down. A simple remedy: laugh often. A genuine smile eases many triggers of stress.
And lastly, enjoy your child's childhood. They grow up too fast.
Questions parents often ask
How long should I wait if my child misses a milestone?
You can wait 1 to 2 months. If there is still no progress, consult a pediatric neurologist or developmental specialist. If your child loses a skill they already had, see a doctor promptly.
How much screen time is safe for young children?
Screen time is not recommended for children under 2 years. For children around 5 years, keep it to no more than 1 hour a day, ideally with an adult watching along.
Why is the first 1000 days so important?
The brain grows fastest in the first 1000 days of life, from pregnancy to about 2 years. Picking up delays in this window allows treatment when the brain responds best.